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6 Little Behavior Problems You Shouldn't Ignore

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Photo Source: mycity4kids

By Niharika Ghosh

https://www.mycity4kids.com/parenting/article/6-little-behavior-problems-you-shouldnt-ignore

One of the biggest challenges parents face is managing difficult or defiant behaviour on the part of children. Whether they’re refusing to put on their shoes, or throwing full-blown tantrums, you can find yourself at a loss for an effective way to respond. Overall, parents have a lot on their plates, and sometimes that can lead to them making some important oversights. Obviously, moms and dads aren’t expected to study or analyse every little thing their children do, but there a quite a number of little conduct problems that should never go unnoticed, as they can be troublesome in the long run.

Today, we’ll be taking a look at 6 of these minor problems that parents can’t afford to ignore, and how to address them properly:

1. Not Seeking Permission

It doesn’t take long for children to start preparing snacks on their own, rather than asking for help getting them. However, giving them control of when they can eat or perform certain activities does not help teach them to follow the rules. It is best to have an established set of rules for the household, instead of letting your child behave as he pleases. This gives him a constant set of rules to follow and adjust to, as opposed to teaching him to make the rules for himself.

2. Stretching the Truth

If your child over-exaggerates or lies about something that does not matter, it may not seem like a big deal. But, lying easily becomes a habit that kids often turn to in order to get out of chores or trouble. If your child lies about something, make sure you let him know that it is important to tell the truth.

To fix this behaviour, try to set the record with your kids whenever applicable. Sit them down, and tell them that you know the truth, and that they should just admit the truth. Be sure to teach lessons like short stories or fables in order to let them know that if they develop a tendency to lie, people won’t believe them. Kids will likely slow down on exaggerating if they realize that it is not as harmless as it seems.

3. Showing some attitude

When children show their parents a little bit of attitude or arrogance, they’re basically displaying a small lack of authority towards you and possibly other authority figures. You may think your child is mimicking you, rolling their eyes, or answering back at you is simply a phase, but if you don’t address it as soon as possible, this attitude could soon develop into a long-term trait. Some parents ignore it because they think it’s a passing phase, but if you don’t confront it, you may find yourself with a disrespectful teenager who has a hard time making and keeping friends and getting along with teachers and other adults.

A great way to counteract this behaviour is to deny your children a reaction from such behaviour. If they, for example, try to copy you when you tell them to do something, you can walk away. Or, you can tell them something along the lines of, “I can’t hear you when you talk that way. Why don’t you say something more constructive if you want a response?”

4. Interrupting you when you’re talking

Even if your child is just ignoring you because they’re excited to tell others something, parents should ignore it when their children interrupt them. By allowing your child to develop the habit of interrupting you, you’re nurturing a habit that teaches them it’s okay to be inconsiderate of others. Later on it may be possible that your child thinks that he is entitled to other people’s attention and won’t be able to tolerate frustration.

If you find your child interrupting you at any point and time, be sure to let them know that they must wait their turn to speak. Tell them that you were not done speaking and that it’s rude to not let you finish. Be sure to let them know that interrupting you won’t get them anywhere and that you will not accept such behaviour.

5. Playing Rough

Children are bound to play slightly aggressively or get a little out of hand at times. However, there is still a limit with how rough parents should let them play. Furthermore, if their children are playing too roughly, they should step in and not ignore such behaviour. It can lead to bad habits, and to more aggressive behaviour. If intervention is not done, then it may become a full fledged habit by the age of 8 or 9 years. Also, it sends a message that hurting people is acceptable.

Whenever you see your children displaying aggressive, rough behaviour, you should aim to stop them immediately. Tell them the importance of treating others the way you’d want to be treated. Also, make sure they know that playing roughly is not acceptable and it can lead to them hurting others.

6. Ignoring what you say

If you find yourself repeating yourself as a result of your child pretending that he can’t hear you, don’t let them get away with ignoring you. In the long run, what you’re supporting is the idea that it’s okay to disregard your commands or wishes. Ignoring you may be a game of power but if you allow the behaviour to continue, he is likely to become more defiant and dominating.

If your child is ignoring you as you give them a command from a slight distance, try walking to them and directly confront them. Also, demand more eye contact when you’re talking to them in order to ensure that what you say is being heard and understood. If they still refuse to listen, offer a consequence for their misbehaviour.

References

Managing difficult or defiant behavior on the part of children.
posted Aug 31 by Gowri Vimalan

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And if you never liked scientific subjects as a student, it can be hard to inspire enthusiasm for them in your children. However, teacher, author and education consultant Maya Thiagarajan has now revealed how parents can raise their children to love maths even if they themselves don't: “First, I think that parents should refrain from making statements like `I never liked maths', or `I'm not good at maths', in front of their kids,“ she told `Smart Parenting'.

“The important thing is to integrate maths into everyday conversations and activities.“ She cites Singapore as an example, where many mothers talk to their children about numbers, shapes and patterns from a young age, thus integrating maths into daily life and creating a mathematically rich home.

“They play maths games in the car or at the dinner table,“ Thiagarajan says, and gives examples such as “guess the number, solve the mathematical riddle, add up the numbers on license plates as quickly as possible, calculate distance traveled.“ According to Thiagarajan, these successful parents also encourage their children to play maths-related games. “They teach their kids chess. They spend money and time on Lego sets, building blocks, tangrams, jigsaw puzzles, and board games,“ she says. “When they take their kids to the grocery store, they talk maths. If one apple costs $0.80, how much will six apples cost?“ They're simple changes that could make a huge difference to your child's life.

Rachel Hosie

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+1 vote

       

Middle-class parents are damaging their children by not being able to say “no”, a top child psychologist has claimed.

For many teachers, bad behaviour in the classroom does not stem from the pupils themselves but the parents, according to Dr Amanda Gummer, a research psychologist specialising in child development.

By- Rachael Pells

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/education/education-news/middle-class-parents-children-not-say-no-spoilt-dr-amanda-gummer-child-psychology-a7886441.html

“Wild, unruly children are increasingly likely to be the progeny of so-called ‘helicopter’ parents,” said Dr Gummer writing for the Daily Mail, “those who give intensive, one-on-one attention to their child and pander to their every whim, fuelling a ‘little emperor’ syndrome.”

From her experiences of working with primary school teachers, she said, the attitude and behaviour of middle class parents in particular was far more shocking than that of their children.

“They are ruthlessly ambitious for their child’s future — failing to realise how badly their mollycoddling is preparing them for the compromises of real life,” she said.

“While we’ve long known this hovering parenting style can create children unable to make decisions or exhibit independence, what’s less often discussed is how aggressive and difficult the children of helicopter parents — often middle-class, professional and, to their minds, devoted to their darlings — can be at school.

“These children struggle in the classroom because they cannot cope with not being number one,” she added. “So they play up to try to get the attention they have been raised to believe ought to be all theirs”.

Teachers were being “frustrated to tears” as a result of these attitudes, she said.

Recent Department for Education figures revealed as many as 35 children a day were being permanently excluded from school for bad behaviour in England alone.

Just under a fifth of those expelled were at primary school, including some children as young as four – a figure that has more than doubled over the past four years.

Dr Gummer suggested the perceived increase in expulsions can be linked to the combination of poor behaviour and lack of personal skills as a result of bad parenting.

“Imagine: little ones so helpless they need assistance to go to the loo and put on their shoes, yet who are utterly unafraid to biff their teacher on the nose,” she wrote.

“Too many of these children have never heard the word ‘no’ levelled at them at home.”

Previous studies have suggested parents who exert too much control over their children could be causing them psychological damage later on in life.

A 2015 study by University College London tracking more than 5,000 people since birth, found people whose parents had intruded on their privacy in some way, or encouraged dependence were much more likely to be unhappy in their teens, 30s, 40s and later on in life.

“Children need rules, boundaries and opportunities to feel the cold, go hungry and fall down and hurt themselves, so they can learn from their mistakes,” concluded Dr Gummer. 

“If they are deprived of those basic life experiences at home, it makes educating them a far greater challenge for their teachers than it ever need be."

 

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Photo Source: Motherly

I know you love our kids and miss them and want nothing more than to see their eyes light up with love for you.

I know you want to do something that enriches their lives and shows them the simple pleasures of childhood.

So please, dear family + friends, know that this message comes from a place of love: No. More. Toys.

by Elizabeth Tenety

https://www.mother.ly/child/please-no-more-toysbut-if-you-want-to-give-a-gift-try-this#close

 

Our kids don’t actually need much of any “things”—they just need our presence, consistent love and guidance.

But maybe your family has gotten here, too. Heres how it happened it ours—

Growing up, my father regaled our family with tales of his humble childhood—he only had a ball and a stick to his name and walked uphill to school both ways and wore the same outfits several times a week. He ate ham sandwiches (every day!) for school lunch and spent his afternoons playing games in his friends’ backyards. It was a simple childhood.

But now, this loving grandfather started showing up to visits with armfuls of toys for our kids. He was a one-man Christmas morning, every time he visited.

It sounds like a four-year-old’s dream come true—but when it comes to kids and toys, there truly can be too much of a good thing.

When grandpa would come bearing gifts, my kids would quickly open up one box— not even taking the time to enjoy or appreciate it!—before they’d spy the next out of the corner of their eye and aim to rip it open, too. It was like they had an endless appetite for MORE.

Meanwhile, grandpa was perhaps just living *his* childhood dreams—through our kids. He meant well, but he wasn’t the only one dropping endless toys in our laps.

Add in excessively indulgent Christmases (they were the only grandkids on both sides.)

Drop in some birthdays.

Add a dash of family friends who can’t help but send goodies along to the kids every time we see them.

Add in Happy Meal trinkets, birthday goodie bags, the occasional impulse buy at the checkout line.

Add in ‘artwork’ that seems to come from everywhere.

Add in stick collections and penny collections and rock collections. “But mom, it’s my favorite orange rock!” (You can have a favorite orange rock?)

Our house was TEEMING with toys and stuff. There were half-finished puzzles (the pieces were always missing), books with pages torn out, block sets with essential pieces gone MIA and tent structures with nowhere to stand.

It was all of the work of having toys, but not enough space for the fun.

Most ironic of all? Our playroom was often unusable because—you guessed it!—the toys were E-V-E-R-Y-W-H-E-R-E and all over the floor, all the time. (No room to play.)

So when we packed up our home earlier this year to settle our family a few states away, we spent weeks doing what we knew we needed to do: We got rid of 75% of the toys we owned.

We brought—honestly—probably 50+ bags/ boxes of “stuff” (toys included) to Goodwill.

(We also got rid of 50% of our own personal possessions—clothes, books, cosmetics—and that felt awesome, too).

It felt amazing to ditch years of junk that had been holding us back.

It felt great to donate hardly-used toys to families that could use them.

And it has been absolutely incredible to see the impact of living with radically less—on me, our home, and especially our kids.

My four-year-old’s reading skills have absolutely taken off.

My incredibly rambunctious three-year-old will sit on a couch and stare off into space, quietly contemplating the ending of Paw Patrol, or perhaps Particle Physics, or where do strawberries come from and why do they taste so good? (I consider this emerging introspection in him a major win.)

My one-year-old can be left in our new baby-proofed playroom with little fear that she’ll discover some danger amid what used-to-be hundreds of toys. (There is one shelf of toys now, and they’re all safe for her.)

I feel good about raising my children in a home that is orderly and purposeful.

I have more energy for work and myself because I don’t have to spend all my free time dealing with a house jammed full of stuff.

And thankfully, my family is totally onboard. (It might be because I sent them photos of the dozens of bags and piles of giveaway toys—and they saw their hard-earned money in the ‘donate’ bin.)

So please, no more random toys for the kids, please. If you really really really want to get something for my kids, I have made a short list.

Here’s what my kids really need—

 

New sneakers

Swimming lessons

An adult to look them in the eyes and talk about anything their little hearts desire (probably ‘poop’-related jokes, if I’m honest—they’re obsessed)

A weekend at grandpa’s

Art supplies

Someone to bring them to the library to return their borrowed books—and get new ones

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A movie night

Grocery store gift cards. (Real talk: these little kids eat more than I ever imagined possible.)

Someone to build blanket forts

Ice cream. (Seriously.) It might be messy and sugary but at our house—it doesn’t last. Plus, ice cream leaves nothing but sticky fingers, brain freeze and innocent childhood memories—the best gift of all.

+1 vote

      

Have you noticed how parenting has changed since we were kids ourselves? But no matter what modern methods are, every parent wants their children to become happy and successful adults.

https://brightside.me/inspiration-family-and-kids/11-secrets-from-parents-who-raised-happy-children-361160/

       

Modern parents have very busy schedules. When they feel tired, the easiest way to keep their children busy is to turn on the TV. But there are activities that both you and your child will find equally interesting. Children will forget what you buy for them, but they’ll neverforget how you spent time together.

For example, it’s proven that a warm relationship with the father affects the ability to build intimate and happy relationships in adulthood.

         

Scientists have concluded that regular family meals are directly connected with lower rates of depression and suicidal thoughts among teens.

Children who enjoy frequent family meals also have a more positive outlook on life compared to their peers who don’t eat dinner with their families. Sharing a meal is a great opportunity to become closer with children. Just don’t forget to turn off the TV.

Read More

 

+1 vote

        

Photo Source: World Economic Forum

By- Teresa Belton

https://www.weforum.org/agenda/2016/09/being-bored-is-good-for-children-and-adults-this-is-why?utm_content=bufferb8f6b&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter.com&utm_campaign=buffer

From books, arts and sports classes to iPads and television, many parents do everything in their power to entertain and educate their children. But what would happen if children were just left to be bored from time to time? How would it affect their development?

I began to think about boredom and children when I was researching the influence of television on children’s storytelling in the 1990s. Surprised at the lack of imagination in many of the hundreds of stories I read by ten to 12 year-old children in five different Norfolk schools, I wondered if this might partly be an effect of TV viewing. Findings of earlier research had revealed that television does indeed reduce children’s imaginative capacities.

For instance, a large scale study carried out in Canada in the 1980s as television was gradually being extended across the country, compared children in three communities – one which had four TV channels, one with one channel and one with none. The researchers studied these communities on two occasions, just before one of the towns obtained television for the first time, and again two years later. The children in the no-TV town scored significantly higher than the others on divergent thinking skills, a measure of imaginativeness. This was until they, too, got TV – when their skills dropped to the same level as that of the other children.

The apparent stifling effect of watching TV on imagination is a concern, as imagination is important. Not only does it enrich personal experience, it is also necessary for empathy – imagining ourselves in someone else’s shoes – and is indispensable in creating change. The significance of boredom here is that children (indeed adults too) often fall back on television or – these days – a digital device, to keep boredom at bay.

Some years after my study, I began to notice certain creative professionals mentioning how important boredom was to their creativity, both in childhood and now. I interviewed some of them. One was writer and actress Meera Syal. She related how she had occupied school holidays staring out of the window at the rural landscape, and doing various things outside her “usual sphere”, like learning to bake cakes with the old lady next door. Boredom also made her write a diary, and it is to this that she attributes her writing career. “It’s very freeing, being creative for no other reason than that you freewheel and fill time,” she said.

Similarly, well-known neuroscientist Susan Greenfield said she had little to do as a child and spent much time drawing and writing stories. These became the precursors of her later work, the scientific study of human behaviour. She still chooses paper and pen over a laptop on a plane, and looks forward with relish to these constrained times.

Sporting, musical and other organised activities can certainly benefit a child’s physical, cognitive, cultural and social development. But children also need time to themselves – to switch off from the bombardment of the outside world, to daydream, pursue their own thoughts and occupations, and discover personal interests and gifts.

We don’t have to have a particular creative talent or intellectual bent to benefit from boredom. Just letting the mind wander from time to time is important, it seems, for everybody’s mental wellbeing and functioning. A study has even shown that, if we engage in some low-key, undemanding activity at same time, the wandering mind is more likely to come up with imaginative ideas and solutions to problems. So it’s good for children to be helped to learn to enjoy just pottering – and not to grow up with the expectation that they should be constantly on the go or entertained.

How to handle a bored child

Parents often feel guilty if children complain of boredom. But it’s actually more constructive to see boredom as an opportunity rather than a deficit. Parents do have a role, but rushing in with ready-made solutions is not helpful. Rather, children need the adults around them to understand that creating their own pastimes requires space, time and the possibility of making a mess (within limits – and to be cleared up afterwards by the children themselves).

They will need some materials too, but these need not be sophisticated – simple things are often more versatile. We’ve all heard of the toddler ignoring the expensive present and playing with the box it came in instead. For older children, a magnifying glass, some planks of wood, a basket of wool, and so on, might be the start of many happily occupied hours.

But to get the most benefit from times of potential boredom, indeed from life in general, children also need inner resources as well as material ones. Qualities such as curiosity, perseverance, playfulness, interest and confidence allow them to explore, create and develop powers of inventiveness, observation and concentration. These also help them to learn not to be deterred if something doesn’t work the first time, and try again. By encouraging the development of such capacities, parents offer children something of lifelong value.

If a child has run out of ideas, giving them some kind of challenge can prompt them to continue to amuse themselves imaginatively. This could range from asking them to find out what kind of food their toy dinosaurs enjoy in the garden to going off and creating a picture story with some friends and a digital camera.

Most parents would agree that they want to raise self-reliant individuals who can take initiatives and think for themselves. But filling a child’s time for them teaches nothing but dependence on external stimulus, whether material possessions or entertainment. Providing nurturing conditions and trusting children’s natural inclination to engage their minds is far more likely to produce independent, competent children, full of ideas.

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