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A hero and a role model

+1 vote
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Source: Pixabay

When a young son saw his father apologising to his mother for his behaviour at the dinner table, explaining that he was under deep work pressure and so had lost his cool and yelled at her, which was completely unwarranted. That night the son prayed 'O God, I thank you for a father like that - make me like him!'

That's why it is important for a father to behave in a way he expects his children to behave - he is setting an example everyday as his children watch him and wait to grow up like him one day.

Though a father's role is underplayed in comparison to that of the mother, the truth is, as a saying goes 'father is that person who goes through the childbirth without any anaesthetic waiting outside the labour room '- he enjoys and endures everything just as the mother from that day on.

He becomes a friend, a counsellor, a healer, a leader, in children's teenage years and continues on.

If a father fails to don those roles and fails to understand his children, he would be a failure as a father. A father is the first hero of a daughter and a role model of a son. 'There is a little wide eyed child who believes you are always right, and his eyes and ears are open and he listens and watches you day and night, you are that little fellow's idol - this truth fathers must always remember'.

Father's role is very significant in bringing discipline and righteousness in their character. Even if he is a governor or a president, a man makes his most significant contribution to the country by the role he manages at home as a father.

The quality of a child's relationship with his or her father seems to be the most important influence in deciding how that person reacts to the world.

Fathers have stout and sturdy hearts and so children would not know what is inside-they do not display their emotions and feelings openly- because they have to be always ready to stand up in the storm, ready to protect from the stress and spur of difficulties and challenges. A father's stature and self-esteem build the same in his children.

References

Oasis
ambika ananth
DH
posted Jun 29, 2017 by Sidharth Appu

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+1 vote

                                                    

Photo Source:  consiliumeducation

Managing the media

Children learn not only through real life experience, but vicariously through media exposure which defines our culture and shapes our norms. Exposure to television programming and video streaming profoundly affects how children view their world. Leah Davies advises us to take control.

By Leah Davies, M.Ed.

http://consiliumeducation.com/itm/2017/07/11/children-and-television/

Negative effects

Adults who care about children developing positive life skills need to be aware of the various messages and ideals being conveyed to children through a variety of media.
As early as 1984, the American Academy of Pediatrics cautioned adults concerning the potential of television viewing to promote violence, obesity, sexual activity, drug use, and ethnic stereotyping. The Academy’s Policy Statement in 1995 confirmed that frequent viewers become desensitized to violence and believe that violence is a justifiable response to problems, and that television viewing is related to obesity and lower academic performance.

According to the Academy, by age eighteen the average American teenager will have spent more time watching television than learning in the classroom. In addition, they will have seen an estimated 360,000 advertisements that are often misleading and exploitative.

Negative messages

The following are some negative messages being transmitted to children via television programming and commercials:

Character
– Be selfish, not generous or cooperative
– Be insensitive rather than empathic
– Show contempt rather than respect for adults
– Expect instant gratification instead of being patient
– Value things instead of relationships with others

Violence/Fear
– Be aggressive rather than using self-control
– Use violence instead of negotiating a solution
– Feel anxious and fearful, not safe and secure

 

Moral/Sexual
– Use profanity instead of decent language
– Be abusive rather than caring
– Be promiscuous, not chaste

 

 

Drugs/Health
– Use drugs without regard to risks instead of saying no to harmful substances
– Eat junk food, not healthy food
– Take pills to feel better rather than taking responsibility to be fit

 

Through constant, unsupervised media exposure children are being socialized to be self-centered, unthinking, dissatisfied, impulsive, disrespectful, sexualized, violent, scared and alienated.

Taking control

Read more

+1 vote

                                           

Photo Source: LUMINOSITY

Recently I was facing some problems in my home front due to which I couldn’t send my daughter to school, she told me that she was selected for a participation in an event in her school. It was very important to attend her school. I was in a dilemma. On the one hand, was the situation which required my immediate attention and on the other hand, was my daughter’s auditions in her school.

by vidhiduggal

https://vidhiduggal.wordpress.com/2017/07/13/teacher-sharing-our-burden-and-caring-for-our-children/

“What should I do now? If she doesn’t go to her school, she will miss her auditions. Her participation is very important for her.” I kept thinking. 

I thought of talking to her teacher. I sent her a message telling her about my problem. She told me that she would consider. I felt as if a burden was lifted off my shoulders.

Two years back, when I was expecting my second baby, I had certain complications and was advised bed rest. I could pay very little attention on my daughter’s studies which started affecting her academic performance. I sent a message to her class teacher and informed her about my condition. Her teacher understood our problems and helped my daughter a lot. She not only provided academic help but gave her emotional support as well. Her immense love and care helped my daughter in sailing through even those days when I was in the hospital. I felt very grateful to her for all that she did for us.

This kind of informal interaction with the teachers has always helped me and my daughter in solving her problems at home or at school. I would like to thank all the teachers who not only take care of our children in school but give more than their usual time for the betterment of our children.

Having an informal and healthy interaction with the teachers is a very important asset and can prove to be very helpful in our children’s development. We can discuss the problems faced by our children on a day to day basis. Earlier, we could meet the teachers only on parent teacher meetings which were formal interactions. We could only discuss the result and report cards of the child.

                                                                     

We expect so much from the teachers of our children. We lay the entire responsibility of the academic development of our children on them. The teacher gets to spend only half an hour per subject in a classroom of over 40 students. She must include so many things in her curriculum and look after many aspects. How can we expect her to excel each child in every sphere?

At home, at times, we find it difficult to teach our kids. We often hire tutors for our children to teach them. In school, a teacher must teach so many students in a class wherein each child is unique and has different capabilities. It would be unfair on our part to expect a teacher to know and understand every child’s caliber and potential.

The parent teacher meetings that are conducted at regular intervals are also very helpful in the development of our children. It gives the parent an opportunity to interact not only with the teachers but also with other parents as well. We can thus bond with other parents too. This way we can get to know the areas where our child is doing well and where he needs our support.

                                                                     

If we want our child to excel, we must interact informally with the teachers regularly. We should also take out time to attend the parent teacher meeting. It helps the teacher in getting to know our child better. Since the aim of both the teacher and the parent is same, we must bridge the gap between the parent teacher relationship and work together as a team for an all-round development of our child.

+2 votes

Source: BM

For parenting, this is a magical microcosm, real-world simulator for our children to navigate

It’s been a hectic week and weekend. Faraway relatives have descended on namma ooru to celebrate. Mid-week dinners, late-night airport trips, and chatting assemblies, have thrown life as we knew it, into happy chaos. The scheduling that we’d honed as parents (decimated by the summer holidays) was just recovering. Now, carefully-crafted bedtimes and routine fly out the door, as grandma celebrates a birthday. It’s not just any birthday, it’s the 80th.

And she’s not alone; there’s an identical twin who is twice as crazy as her. It’s the event of a lifetime, one worth commemorating; and in true Indian style – over many days and meals. Goodbye, quiet time. The pluses are many. And I’ll start with the one that makes parenting lighter 1. I don’t need to worry about our meals at all – and what parent doesn’t love that! It’s all good. Day 1 is a full-on excitement-overload. 2. There’s so much ‘lurrve’. And compliments.

The children have obviously grown and everyone is staring at them in amazement. “How tall! How and when did this happen?!” I often borrow the line , “We water their feet every morning!” The children are enjoying the attention/smiles/bad jokes/stories/ laughter. And guess what? They’re learning from the village. The stories will, no doubt, remain. Well, the scandalous ones will. Especially, when they’re grandmas’! As I watch the shenanigans, I can’t help but notice 3. the psychological value of socialising. Everyone is loosening up. There’s the old aunt sitting with one of the children, giving her advice on what not to take seriously, and how to ignore a baby brother who’s bugging you. The older-but-still-young relatives giving career-advice to someone or the other, and the giggling cousins (notice how no one is on their phone?!), well, just giggling. There’s the oddball relative who’s missing a filter between his thought and words.

He’ll say something inappropriate for sure. And that’s okay too. Our kids are getting exposure to the real world, in an atmosphere that largely positive, and within their parent’s earshot.As the kids practise a special song for the twin grandmas, I see them ‘collaborate’. The “leaders” steamroll their way, the peacemakers hone their skill. It’s such a pond of learning, and one that’s rich in human relationship and interaction. Such bliss. Well, at least until the tiredness sets in. My rose-tinted reverie was interrupted by Ms. Teen, the super girl who’s tackling school, projects, early-rising, co-curricular, tuition and partying. She burst through the door with a whiny voice that I haven’t heard in a long while. “I have no time for myself and the family has moved ahead without me, and I have tuition while you all have fun. And I haven’t completed my Geography project, and someone stepped on my white shoes and ruined them, and I didn’t get any presents, and....”she said crying. As always, the cure is, to put her to bed.

This morning, I woke up to a strange jolting sound and heard myself shout out to Mr. Dad, What’s that?”He replied calmly (as he was right beside me), “The alarm.” Then, school frenzy began. Two out of three children could not wake up, and when I decided to give in and get back under covers, she decided to do school. Back to the frenzy – this time, with lost time.

Argh. Even the even-tempered Mr. Dad is kinda grumpy this morning. He blames overeating; we’ll blame exhaustion. And honestly, these are small prices to pay for the fun that was – creepy uncle included.

+3 votes

One of the challenges for parents with a gifted child is to encourage them to develop a range of interest outside the academic sphere that not only rounds them out but stops them from being isolated from their peers.                    Gifted children are a diverse group of kids who are talented in specific areas such as mathematics, language, sport or music. Some gifted kids are multi-talented excelling in a variety of areas.

http://www.lovingyourchild.com/2010/08/raising-gifted-child-balance/

Gifted children tend to be passionate and single-minded about their interests focusing their energy on the topics that absorb them, often to the exclusion of other activities.                                                                                      Just as all children need to have a balanced diet to remain in good health they need a balance between work and play to make sure they develop good social networks and maintain emotional health. That means that parents need to guide these children towards leisure-time options that they wouldn’t normally consider.

Work From Strengths

One way to encourage a gifted child to be more well-rounded is to get them to lead with their strengths. In other words, it maybe that a computer whiz meets up with other like-minded souls but extend the meetings to activities away from the computer. Or an artistic child can be encouraged to develop her literacy skills by adding simple stories to their illustrations.

The Courage To Be Imperfect

Gifted children are often low risk-takers in areas or endeavors that are not their passions or strengths. Used to automatically excelling they fear doing things poorly, so exceptionally capable children can be reluctant to attempt unknown or different tasks.

Parents Can Push Too Hard

Some gifted young children slow down their learning when they start school as they focus their time and energy on making friends. In terms of fitting in to social settings this is essential however parents who are proud of their child’s achievements can become quite anxious at this apparent shift in interest away from learning.

Making Friends

One of the most difficult tasks for a parent is to engineer circumstances so that children can make friends. Some children make friends naturally while others can be slow to warm up around their peers.

Being Part Of The Family

Family life can be a great leveler for gifted children. A sibling can bring a talented child back to earth, letting them know that they may be a star at school or in sport but their talent pulls no rank at home. Jobs need to be done, games can played and big heads can be easily deflated.

A Well-Rounded Young Person

Talented kids can become self-absorbed in their interests and passions to the detriment of developing broader interests and in some cases social interactions. With a little coaching and prompting parents can help children achieve balance in their lives so that they don’t become isolated and rely on a narrow set of interests for their identity and self esteem.

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